{"id":3005,"date":"2019-12-19T12:44:30","date_gmt":"2019-12-19T20:44:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/?p=3005"},"modified":"2020-01-07T00:28:09","modified_gmt":"2020-01-07T08:28:09","slug":"ia-mai-rideti-va-ti-mai-fete-si-flacai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/?p=3005","title":{"rendered":"Ia mai rideti-va-ti, mai fete si flacai."},"content":{"rendered":"

\u0218tia\u021bi c\u0103: \u201eDac\u0103 dragostea e oarb\u0103, vine c\u0103s\u0103toria \u0219i restaureaz\u0103<\/strong><\/span>
\nvederea imediat\u201d?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Cei care zic c\u0103 Bill Gates a abandonat \u0219coala \u0219i a reu\u0219it \u00een via\u021b\u0103,<\/strong><\/span>
\nar trebui s\u0103 \u0219tie totu\u0219i c\u0103 el a abandonat Harvard, nu clasa a noua la<\/strong><\/span>
\nLiceul Agricol!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* L\u0103sa\u021bi copii s\u0103 cread\u0103 \u00een Mo\u0219 Cr\u0103ciun!<\/strong><\/span>
\nVoi crede\u021bi \u00een produse pentru sl\u0103bit \u0219i nimeni nu v\u0103 stric\u0103 magia!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Anun\u021b \u00een megafon:<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Rug\u0103m blonda \u00een costum de baie roz s\u0103 plece de pe nisip… acesta<\/strong><\/span>
\neste un \u0219antier!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* -Uite ce scrie \u00een ziar: Cele mai multe accidente se petrec \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie.<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Da, \u0219tiu… eu le m\u0103n\u00e2nc.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* O blond\u0103 intr\u0103 \u00een farmacie \u0219i \u00eentreab\u0103:<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Ave\u021bi ochelari?<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Pentru soare?<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Nu, pentru mine!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Doi automobili\u0219ti se ciocnesc:<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Ascult\u0103! Tu n-ai dat examen de conducere?<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Ba da! \u0218i chiar de mai multe ori dec\u00e2t tine!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* – De c\u00e2nd am divor\u021bat nu mai pot dormi.<\/strong><\/span>
\n– \u00ce\u021bi lipse\u0219te mult, nu-i a\u0219a?<\/strong><\/span>
\n– Nu… a luat patul.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Tu \u00ee\u021bi setezi alarma pentru diminea\u021b\u0103… tot tu o \u00eenjuri diminea\u021b\u0103…<\/strong><\/span>
\nP\u0103i nu \u021bi-o faci cu m\u00e2na ta?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Programul meu de sal\u0103:<\/strong><\/span>
\nLuni: piept;<\/strong><\/span>
\nMar\u021bi: spate;<\/strong><\/span>
\nMiercuri: bra\u021be;<\/strong><\/span>
\nJoi: picioare;<\/strong><\/span>
\nVineri: abdomen;<\/strong><\/span>
\nWeekend: ceaf\u0103 \u0219i cotlet.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Sunt la banc\u0103 de azi-diminea\u021b\u0103 \u0219i tot a\u0219tept.<\/strong><\/span>
\nMi-au spus la Horoscop c\u0103 \u00eemi intr\u0103 ni\u0219te bani \u00een cont!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti de la \u021bar\u0103 sau de la ora\u0219. Po\u021bi fi prost oriunde.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Am \u00eentrebat 100 de femei ce p\u0103rere au despre fostul.<\/strong><\/span>
\nAm \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat 50 de \u00eenjur\u0103turi noi \u0219i 30 de animale necunoscute.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* \u00cen America ruleaz\u0103 \u201eOm bogat, om s\u0103rac\u201d<\/strong><\/span>
\n\u00cen Rusia ruleaz\u0103 \u201eOm s\u0103rac, om s\u0103rac\u201d.<\/strong><\/span>
\n\u00cen Rom\u00e2nia ruleaz\u0103 \u201eOm tr\u0103i \u0219i om vedea\u201d.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* S\u0103 fumezi e nociv, s\u0103 bei, e ur\u00e2t. Dar s\u0103 mori s\u0103n\u0103tos… nu-i p\u0103cat?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* C\u00e2nd te urci pe c\u00e2ntar, \u00een\u021belegi \u00een final c\u0103 vaca de pe ciocolat\u0103 e<\/strong><\/span>
\navertizare, nu reclam\u0103.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Ea: – De ce e sticla de vodc\u0103 pe jum\u0103tate goal\u0103?<\/strong><\/span>
\nEl: – Pentru c\u0103 e\u0219ti pesimist\u0103<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Luni \u00eencepe \u0219coala. Ocazie cu care guvernul D\u0103ncil\u0103 vrea s\u0103<\/strong><\/span>
\nrelanseze campania \u201dF\u0103r\u0103 penar \u00een func\u021bii publice\u201d.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Apropo! \u0218ti\u021bi care-i culmea veseliei?<\/strong><\/span>
\nC\u00e2nd vine so\u021bul vesel acas\u0103, \u00eei spune un banc bun so\u021biei \u0219i… \u00eencepe<\/strong><\/span>
\ns\u0103 r\u00e2d\u0103 unul din dulap.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0218tia\u021bi c\u0103: \u201eDac\u0103 dragostea e oarb\u0103, vine c\u0103s\u0103toria \u0219i restaureaz\u0103 vederea imediat\u201d? * Cei care zic c\u0103 Bill Gates a abandonat \u0219coala \u0219i a reu\u0219it \u00een via\u021b\u0103, ar trebui s\u0103 \u0219tie totu\u0219i c\u0103 el a abandonat Harvard, nu clasa a noua la Liceul Agricol! * L\u0103sa\u021bi copii s\u0103 cread\u0103 \u00een Mo\u0219 Cr\u0103ciun! Voi crede\u021bi \u00een produse pentru sl\u0103bit \u0219i nimeni nu v\u0103 stric\u0103 magia! * Anun\u021b \u00een megafon: – Rug\u0103m…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draculascastle.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}